


true love at first scathing remark

by chiarascura



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, M/M, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chiarascura/pseuds/chiarascura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hawke tried to ignore the fussy Mother in front of him. He just wanted to get his burger, eat it in peace, and go home to sleep.</p>
<p>When he heard the Mother in front of him start shouting, he sighed, knowing that plan was out the window.</p>
<p>“What kind of a moron are you? I asked for no lettuce! Look at this!” She shoved her half-unwrapped burger in the cashier’s face, gesturing wildly. “You knife ears can’t do anything right! Go back to the wilds where you belong!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	true love at first scathing remark

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr drabble for [the prompt](http://professionallilbrocarverhawke.tumblr.com/post/140390411822/imagine-your-otp): Person A and B both hear someone say something extremely offensive and turn around to tear into said person at the same time. It was true love at first scathing remark

Hawke tried to ignore the fussy Mother in front of him. He just wanted to get his burger, eat it in peace, and go home to sleep.  
  
When he heard the Mother in front of him start shouting, he sighed, knowing that plan was out the window.  
  
“What kind of a moron are you? I asked for no lettuce! Look at this!” She shoved her half-unwrapped burger in the cashier’s face, gesturing wildly. “You knife ears can’t do anything right! Go back to the wilds where you belong!”  
  
The girl behind the register bit her wobbling lip and her eyes began to fill with tears. “Ma’am, I don’t, you didn’t, please stop yelling at me.” Her voice was a whisper by the end. She looked about Bethany’s age, and just as innocent.  
  
“Do you know who I am? I am Mother Petrice of the Chantry, and I deserve better than this!” The Mother’s eyes bulged out of her skull with the force of her insane anger.  
  
As tears rolled down the girl’s face under the barrage of insults, Hawke saw red. “Calm the fuck down, Mother Fucking Petrice! Stop yelling at her! She’s just a cashier, she can’t read your fucking mind!”  
  
As he shouted, he heard another voice matching his volume and vitriol. “Fucking shem, you worthless piece of scum, you don’t deserve the burger in your hand, I’m going to _shove it down your throat_ if you don’t stop yelling at her!”  
  
Petrice spun on her heel to face Hawke and the other stranger. She paled as the two men bore down on her, but her spine straightened. She grew red in the face and threw her burger down on the counter. “I’m not going to take this from you! Another knife ear and a dog lord! I am a _Chantry Mother_! Mind your own business!”  
  
At that point, Hawke said, “That’s fucking it!” and tore the shirt from his body. The manager suddenly appeared with two beefy security guards to split them up. They pulled Hawke and the other angry stranger away from the still-screaming Mother, depositing them outside on the sidewalk.  
  
As Hawke’s anger faded, he looked down at the ripped remains of his t-shirt. “Damnit, I liked this one,” he whined. It was soft and blue and had a Mabari screenprinted on the front. Carver was going to have a field day when he got home shirtless.  
  
The stranger chuckled and Hawke looked up. Through his haze of rage and injustice, he hadn’t noticed how attractive the man was. The elf’s white teeth almost glowed against his dark skin, and Hawke found himself dumbstruck. “Um.”  
  
“I think you got a little carried away there,” the man said, gesturing to the tattered fabric in his hands.  
  
Hawke sighed “Sometimes I just can’t help myself. That woman was just so rude.”  
  
The man nodded. “Since we’re probably not going to get our burgers here, would you like to go somewhere else? I know an Antivan place across the street.”  
  
Hawke grinned. “I would love to. I’m Hawke.”  
  
“Fenris.” Hawke watched Fenris’ eyes dip down to his chest, and Hawke flexed just a little. “I hope they don’t have a dress policy for customers there.”


End file.
